Sep 15, 2010

Screw the Honey-Do List

Pardon me, I need to vent.

Ok, so I understand the meaning behind a "honey-do" list.  Men need to be told what to do.  I get that.  But screw the honey do list.  If all I had to do was make a list, fine.  I can do that.  But why do they have to make it so hard?  So not only do I need to remind him of what he said he was going to do, I need to check with him later to see if he did it. And then, when he inevitably hasn't done it, I have to remind him.  And repeat. The whole fucking process.  Again and again.  What's the point?  I'll just do it myself.  I'm gonna have to do it myself later anyway, and at least I save myself the frustration of having to remember to ask him to do it and feeling like a nag.

But they trick you.

Imagine this "hypothetical" situation.  You don't want to have to move to a new apartment, but your old building is the devil and raised your rent $300 a month if you renew, so you have to.  You've been stressing about the move, because frankly, moving is something you've done way too often and you know the emotional trauma it involves.  When you're talking things out with your sweet and loving boyfriend, going over all the things you need to do to get it done, he offers to take care of calling and hiring movers.  He decides it might be better to get a couple of guys who have their own truck instead of renting a truck separately, and he offers to take care of it all.  You instantly feel loved and protected.  You feel like you really have a partner.  You happily agree and thank him profusely, as any good girlfriend should.

Fast forward 5 weeks.

You're moving in 3 weeks.  He hasn't mentioned anything about the movers, so you (foolishly? wisely?) ask about it.  Has he done anything?  ANYthing?  Of course not.  Awesome.  No problem.  I'll add that to my ever-growing list of things to do and cross my fingers that I can still find someone reasonably-priced who isn't already booked for the day I need to move.  Ok, maybe it won't be a disaster and I'll be able to find someone easily.  But still, it's the principle of it all.  (Oops, did I slip in to first person here?)

Cue big fight.

Note:  I truly love The Dude and he's a great guy who just happens to be as forgetful as any other man.  I know I sound like a nagging, frightful bitch here.  But I needed to vent.  Kaythanksbye.



  1. Solution:

  2. You don't sound like a bitch at all. Having just gone through this nightmarish process myself, I can totally sympathize. Moving is so stressful! And a lot of people don't realize (until it's too late) that hiring movers is definitely not something you want to wait until the last second to take care of.

  3. It's just communication--probably didn't realize when you wanted to have it taken care of. These things always work out. :-)

  4. Sassy - Thank you so much for your comment on my recent entry Missing DC: Part I. I love being called "DARK AND DANKY". That's hot. Anywho...I recently moved all my stuff from Charlotte NC to Washington, D.C. and I was able to make arrangements in under a week. I used GENTLE GIANT moving company which is the best service imaginable and reasonably priced. You can rent your own Uhaul and then pay 2 guys to help pack you up and unpack you. Or you can rent their truck and guys together. Good luck with that! Moving is the worst! Also, as for the honey-didn't do lists, its the reason I'm single. I find i can't depend on any guy/boyfriend to actually do anything so I'd rather just be independent and take care of myself and just have casual things for fun and company. But hey, thats just me.

  5. "You feel like you really have a partner."

    But you don't.

    Anyone can SAY they'll do something. What matters is the actions. Especially, repeated over and over.

    Put "get new partner" on your To Do list. Then, do it.

  6. P.s. congrats on the DC Blogs shout out And I just realized we were both lawyers. super rad. Looking forward to reading your new stuff in the future. Cheers, T.

  7. Haha, is there any woman in the world who doesn't have this problem? ;)

  8. Thanks for all of the support, ladies!

    @Non-Student: it's a little more than miscommunication, but we've made progress this week!

    @Toddy: thanks for stopping by here, as well! Love your theory on relationships. I think most women feel that way at some point in their lives, at least momentarily. :)

    @CC: Girl, seriously. And misery loves company. ;)

  9. I think guys have their own time line. If I give Mr. T no deadline, he thinks he has until hell freezes over to finish.

    Case in point: I ask him to help me wash the dishes, since I cooked dinner. No problem, except for him, washing dishes means when he finishes his video game. That could be many days later. I end up doing it myself and then stewing about it for days.

  10. @Jane: By the way, The Dude really loved this comment. He thinks you nailed it right on the head. And I think that proves our point. ;)