Fashion Friday: How NOT To Do White Pants

Look, it's H-O-T these days.  I mean, really, Satan called and asked for his weather back.  We all know how miserable DC can be on these sticky, blazing hot days and anything you can do to dress cooler is smart.  That usually means lightweight, loose fitting clothing.  But that doesn't mean that your sense of style or modesty should go out the window.  

Lightweight, white pants or shorts are a great way to battle this heatwave, but there are a few things to keep in mind about the WRONG way to do white pants.  Yesterday evening, I was standing in the metro waiting for a train with my mom, on our way to Cantina Marina for her to meet my blog besties - A Single Girl, DateMeDC and Cupcakes and Shoes - when I saw this girl, illustrating a few things you should NOT do if you're going to brave white pants or shorts this summer:

To avoid falling victim to tragic white pants, like this girl, here are my tips on how to do white pants RIGHT this summer:

1.  The pants should be especially flattering.  You know those pants you put on and say, "Damn, my ass looks hot in these!"  If your white pants aren't inspiring that exclamation when you slip them on, throw them back.  White is going to highlight any flaws you have and you therefore want to be sure that you are choosing a white pant or short in the most flattering shape and cut possible for your figure.  In this woman's case, the pants are too tight, have an unflattering cargo pocket on the legs (I mean, seriously?) and could use a lower rise to flatter her behind a bit more.  

2.  Be really careful with how sheer you go.  You can wear sheer-ish white pants, if you do it well.  In this woman's case, I think she's either going commando or wearing perfectly nude undies - a great start.  This would have been worse if she'd been wearing white undies, for example.  Where she still went wrong here, though, is with the pockets.  Honestly, I don't even know why designers put in pockets like this on a pair of sheer white pants.  Your only solution is to remove the pocket, so that the flap of less-opaque white material isn't highlighted against your behind.  A tailor can easily do this for you if you don't know how to yourself - and you should ALWAYS remove pockets like these on a sheer pant, skirt or short.  Period.

3.  Choose your fabric wisely.  These pants looked to be a linen or very lightweight cotton, which would be fine ... if they didn't fit so tight.  If you are going with a really lightweight fabric, looser is better.  If you're looking for a slim-fitting cigarette pant or bermuda short, something with a little more heft will suit you better.  Try a stretchy cotton-spandex blend, for example.

It's almost the weekend, but another scorcher out there - try and stay cool and be safe!  Happy Friday!

Mama Marmalade is in Town!

Last year around this time, when I spent a long weekend on a lazy river vacation with my mom, we vowed to have another such sun-and-water vacation next year.  At the time, my mom threw out the idea of just coming to stay with me for a week, to spend time at the pool, drink fruity drinks and catch up on laughs, and (duh) shop.

And so, that's what we're up to this week.  My mom took the red-eye out from San Diego last night and I picked her up at Reagan this morning.  We stopped by my apartment to cool off for a bit (this weather requires frequent a/c breaks, for sure) before stepping out for brunch, a failed attempt at getting gel manicures (why is a nail salon closed on a Sunday??) and a visit to my favorite little boutique on 23rd Street (separate post coming about them soon!).  Then, we hustled back to my apartment for another a/c break, where the overnight flight caught up to my mom.  She's currently napping on my couch. Perfect to me - it's vacation!  Besides, with this weather, there's not much motivation to go outside before it cools down.  Which should be ... sometime next week.

I'm incredibly excited about this week with my mom.  We have plans for screen on the green and farmer's market dinners and drinks at the W rooftop and dinners at Co Co Sala and Saint-Ex and, of course, plenty of time for shopping and gabbing.  I've stocked up on wine and fun, flavored margarita mixers, as well as sunscreen and pool floaties.  This heatwave doesn't even get me down.  Really, it's just another good reason to drink frozen margaritas.  What's the over/under on how soon we'll need a new bottle of tequila?

Fashion Friday: Reader Submissions

Truly, sometimes these posts just write themselves.  I got a tweet this week from someone I follow, telling me that she'd just seen TWO fashion disasters on the street, and was emailing me PICTURES straight away.  I was so excited.  I sat there at my desk, tapping my foot with anticipation until those emails came in.  And I figure - what's better for Fashion Friday than a couple of real-life examples, seen strolling the streets of our fair city this same week?

So, brought to you with the assistance of the photog journalism skills of Sonia, who also writes My Little Kitchen Laboratory (if you haven't seen her blog, check it out!), I give you:

1.  Crazy Heatpocalypse Boot Lady

Seriously, lady?  The heat index was forecasted in the 100+ range this week, and you zipped your legs into leather?  Or are those suede?  I can't quite tell.  But still, I don't understand people.  The sad thing is, even in fall weather this would be a bad outfit.  That's a summery dress!  She should be wearing it with a tan leather espadrille or something similar (and she should also remove that back tie).

2.  The Speedo Superhero

What the what is going on here?  I'm pretty sure this picture was taken around the Farragut area, and to my knowledge there is no pool nearby that he could have just jumped from.  Is he off to save the day somewhere, in some great aquatic adventure?  Little speedo shorts are not even appropriate at the pool, so they are certainly not appropriate when thrown on with a polo, backpack and headphones.  And is he wearing those hideous barefoot toe shoe things?  So much ick here.

I seriously enjoy when you guys send me stories and pictures, so keep them coming!  I know it's scary to snap pictures of the crazies out there and I unfortunately cannot vow to post bail for you if some altercation ensues ... so do proceed at your own risk!  :)

Happy Friday!

This is Why I Love Blogging

Just a short little note, because I'm drafting this before running off to get all ready for bed before a Skype date with The Dude, to show off some awesome mail I got over the weekend.  I've mentioned again and again that the most unexpected surprise to come from starting this blog has been the amazing friendships I have made as a result.  One of those friends is the woman behind Flying Stiletto. She lives all the way across the country, in Washington state, and after connecting through the blog world, we found out that we both grew up in small towns outside of San Diego.  Small world!  Even smaller?  I was out at a happy hour in DC one night and got to chatting with one girl on the way to the metro.  When she mentioned she was from the same small town as Flying Stiletto, I made a stab in the dark and asked if she knew her.  Oh, ya know, turns out they are just super close childhood friends!  I love those small coincidences.

Flying Stiletto has been one of the most amazing friends to me in preparing and going through The Dude's departure and deployment.  She has been there with encouraging emails, telling me that we were making the right choice, when everyone else was telling me I was crazy because we were breaking up.  She was the one who sent me lists of items he would appreciate in care packages and lists of ways to stay close to someone you care about when miles and hours of time difference separate you from one another.  And she's an expert, because she has deployed herself and because she and her husband have maintained an amazing relationship despite living on different continents for a great part of their marriage.  She always inspires me with how she lives her life and makes the best out of surviving tough times, simply for the sake of love.

So when she emailed me late last week to ask for my mailing address, saying she was sending a surprise, I sent it back to her straight away!  And when I opened my mailbox on Saturday and found a bright pink package waiting for me, I couldn't wait to rip it open.  This is what I found inside.

Four cds full of girl power music (we don't really hate men, we just need to think we do to get through the times we spend without them!) including a dance volume, and a sweet card.  She's amazing.  And the cds are awesome!  I'll say it again and again - I'm lucky for every single one of the amazing friends I have made through this blog.

Meet Marmalade

Second to a career as a personal shopper, I daydream most about being an interior decorator.  I like to think that my apartment looks as put-together as my personal style.  Two different groups of my friends refer to my place as "the grown up apartment."  For the most part, I think it's a compliment.

My bedroom is done in black and white, with lime green as the only color.  My bed frame is wrought-iron and I mix different black and white prints like damask and zebra.  It all works together and it's the main room in my apartment that is 100% me.

Ever since I started this blog and designed my first, humble header in photoshop - complete with clip art of a wrought-iron dress form, pair of shoes and a black cat - I've been searching for an affordable dress form to add to my bedroom decor.  I had seen plenty - on Etsy and Craigslist and random other places - but they were all very expensive; in the $150 range.  I had kinda given up on the dream a little, but always had my eyes open just in case.

On a recent shopping trip with my favorite city girl shopping pal, CupcakesDC, we were rushing through T.J.Maxx fifteen minutes before closing, desperately searching for a couple of items to complete Cupcake's new apartment.  As we were hurrying past the lamp section, I stopped dead in my tracks and my mouth fell open when I saw this:

Ok, technically this is after I got her home, but still ... OMGOMGOMG!

I immediately became giddy with excitement.  IT WAS ONLY $49.99!!  And not only did it look exactly like the adorable, stylized dress form that I'd once included in my blog header (real dress forms are much more functional and not as whimsical), it was also a coat rack!  I don't remember anything else that happen until I got up to the register, because I was completely in love.

I had decided to try for a discount, because the coat rack part at the top was slightly bent and the paint on the form was chipped in a couple of places.  (I was planning to paint it black anyway, but they didn't need to know that!)  They only offered me $3 off, as a final sale, and who the hell was I kidding?  I still would have bought it even if they had realized the price tag was wrong and it should have been more.  The best part of the transaction, however, was when the 20-something guy said to me, in confusion, as I walked up with my treasure, "What is that??"  And then stared at me like I was some crazy yarn collector in a craft store as I babbled on and on about how it's a dress form that's a coat rack and I'm gonna paint it black and drape necklaces over it in my bedroom and it's so SO me!  Yeah, I was a fucking lunatic.

Anyway, I got her home and set her in my bedroom while Cupcakes and I sat around drinking red wine and concocting an ahhh-mazing idea that we will share with you all soon.  At some point it occurred to me that I needed to name my new friend.  First, I went with Lucy.  But then I realized that was simply ridiculous.  Obviously, she should be named Marmalade.

So I finally got around to buying a can of spray paint.  (Seriously, I shouldn't have to go all the way to Home Depot for some freakin' spray paint.  Are you listening, Target?)  And I set about to painting Marmalade on my balcony last weekend.  This is what she looked like while drying out on my balcony after I finished painting.  I was so proud of myself for not making a giant mess with the paint!

Ta-daaaa!

And then I got her set up inside, draping a necklace and a scarf around her neck and topping her with a couple of hats.  It's a good start.  Doesn't she look great??

Meet Marmalade!

And THEN I went out to clean up the newspaper ... and saw this.

Oops.  I thought I had done better.  Oh well!

Fashion Friday: Oh, Princess Kate

First, I have to start out by saying that I absolutely LOVE getting emails from y'all.  It seriously makes my day.  I got a couple of great ones this week, and you make me laugh with the funny stories and tweets of the horrors you see out there in the trenches.  Don't be afraid to snap pictures to send to me! And I can't help but put in a plug here - I finally did design and order coat tack cards, and if you would feel better strolling the streets, armed with those in your pocket, we can make that happen.  Shoot me an email and I will gladly mail some to you!  Here's what they look like, if you don't follow me on Twitter to have seen them there.

But ok, it's Friday.  Unless you've been living under a rock, you know that magazines, talk shows and the blogosphere have been going CRAZY for some Kate Middleton fashion as she and William made their tour of North America.  Let's be honest:  if I were a size 2 and the cost-benefit analysis was therefore a little more balanced, I'd hunt her down, follow her into the ladies room, grab her clutch and swipe the key to the castle, and then head off to pillage all her clothing.  It's been said over and over again the last couple of weeks, but I simply love that she isn't afraid to wear items she has worn before.  She's very real in that sense.

And now, before I throw her under the bus and destroy all that fashion credibility I just built up, let's admire some of her recent fashion choices.  Ooh and aah where appropriate.

Ok, so here we go ... One of those emails I got this week was a great one from Christina, alerting me to a SERIOUS FASHION TRAGEDY.  Sadly involving none other than Princess Kate (yes, I know we're supposed to call her the Duchess of Cambridge, but that's boring, so I'm sticking with Princess Kate).  I'm really just so sad that it's hard for me to get angry, so give me a minute to work up to it.  This is what we're dealing with:

Arthur Edwards / Reuters

I've done a lot of research, aided a lot by Christina, to try to determine whether this coat was maybe designed with a permanent tack of sorts at the bottom.  We've been able to determine that her coat is a Ted Baker "Jinan" trench, but it's a design from either 2007 or 2008, which makes it really tough to find a complete description from the time it was sold, or other pictures that show the back.

But this much is clear:  It sure as hell looks like her coat is tacked.

Let's break it down like this:  Even if it isn't tacked, and the coat was designed for the bottom of that inverted pleat to be sewn closed, this is still disastrous.  While she's being heralded as "Britain's most influential fashion icon," all those idiots out there - who don't even realize that something might be wrong when the bottom of their own vent or pleat is stuck closed - only need to look at this picture to think:  "Hey, this must be right!  My coat is just like Kate's!"

Great.

Also, while scouring hundreds of pictures of her in search of another back view of the coat, I found this one:

Michael Dunless / Daily Mail via AP

Notice the Longchamps she's carrying?  Yeah, that's strike two, there.  You've got one more, Kate.  One more.

Whew, I need a drink.  Happy Friday!

What What WHAT Are You Doing?!?

Oh, lordy.  You know this is going to sound cheesy, but I gotta tell ya:  Sassy here probably needs a Sassy Gay Friend.  For reals.

I don't know what I'm doing.  Sigh.

The Dude and I have been talking.  And chatting.  And skyping.  A LOT.  I mean, on Saturday, I think we spent a total of FIVE HOURS on Skype.  What am I doing?!?

The first couple of times we skyped, finally getting to see each other again after so long, we eventually caught up on everything we could talk about and then spent a lot of time just looking at each other. And smiling.  Yes, just looking at each other.  I know how sappy and ridiculous (and probably annoying) that sounds, but you should also know I wouldn't just make this shit up to get on your nerves.  It's the truth.  WHAT AM I DOING??

In all honesty, it probably wouldn't matter a damn if I did have a Sassy Gay Friend to tell me to knock this shit off.  I'd do it anyway.  He makes me happy.  Like, smiling from ear to ear, forget all my troubles, feel so lucky to have such an amazing friend, happy.  And I just don't want to give that up right now.  I know it might not end well.  I know this might not mean anything for us as a couple in the future.  But we're both going through tough times and I kinda think we need each other.  What's wrong with being there for the person you love the most, when they are doing the same for you when you need it the most?  Whether it's friendship or something more, that's what love is, right?

I don't know.  I just know that I could stare at those big brown eyes on Skype for five hours every day and be completely content.  Unfortunately (or fortunately, if you are my student loan provider) I'm working a new gig now, so those sort of shenanigans have to wait until the weekend.  In the meantime, because he is finally at his official post in Iraq (after time in Kuwait and many a sandstorm delay in getting to his post) and I can now send him mail, I've been working on care packages and cards and the like.  He's having a tough time so far, and it makes me feel good to be able to send him some love and hopefully ease some of that hardship.  And he's been doing the same for me, being there to talk me through things lately and help me feel loved even when it feels like the world is crashing down around me.

This is a picture of what he's been looking at day in and day out lately.  I'm so proud of him and everyone else serving over there, because it's definitely not easy.

So, yeah, maybe Sassy Gay Friend would say, "she's a stupid bitch," but I just don't care.  Right now, I'm happy.

Fashion Friday: Size Matters

No, really, this is a fashion post, I promise!  ;)

I think I've alluded to this before, but I think it's one of the simplest rules of fashion and something that I see violated all the time, so I figured it was worth a post all its own.  And this is a unisex post, because I see just as many men violating this as I do women.

So, size matters?  What I mean by that is - no matter what size you are, it's important that your clothes FIT.

Nine times out of ten, you'll look better in those pants/shorts/shirt/dress/skirt if you buy the size with a little room, rather than the size that's a little snug.  No matter what size you are, squeezing into something that is too tight will always make you look bigger.  On the other end, you don't want to go too baggy or loose.  It has the same effect.

If you're outside the average sizes - whether you're petite, very tall, or curvier - you have to look a little harder for clothes that fit you right.  It's not an excuse to just wear anything.  You already stand out a little, and you want your clothes to work with you, not against you, in that regard.

Pant lengths:  Both men and women have trouble in this area.  As women, it's very unlikely that you can buy a pair of pants off the rack that will be the exact correct length for you.  This is a little easier for men, as your pants come in so many different lengths, but when adjustments are necessary you need to make them.  Just find a good tailor.  You can get your pants hemmed for about $20 and it's worth every penny.  Figure out what shoes you will wear most often and take those with you when the tailor measures the new hem.  Piece-a-cake.

Shoulder seams:  For me, one of the most noticeable ways to see that a top doesn't fit a person is to look at the shoulder seams.  They should fall right at the outside edge of your shoulder.  Usually, I see people wearing tops that are far too big for them, with the seams falling a few inches past their shoulder, somewhere down their arm.  (To illustrate some of my points, I have found some helpful examples among my friends' unsuspecting Facebook photos.  So, ya know, these exist in real life. Black bars have been utilized to protect the not-so-innocent.)

I know I should give Granny a break, but this was a perfect pic to show what I'm talking about.

Yeah, you'd be cuter if your shirts fit!

Bust seams:  Same problem with the bustline on a top or dress for women.  If a top has a seam that is meant to fall just below your bustline, but on you the seam is cutting straight across your bust, the top is too small for you.  That empire waist line is meant to be flattering, but when it cuts straight across your bust instead of just under it, it has the opposite effect.  Instead, you look like you're stuffed into that top.

Just slightly off in this one, but you get the idea.

Shirt lengths:  This is a problem I see mostly on men, particularly tall men or men with longer torsos. If your shirts (especially tshirts) fall right at or even above (the horror!) the waist of your pants, it's too frickin' short.  Either you bought it too small or it shrunk in the wash and you need to stop wearing it.  Get rid of the ones that look like this, because you can't save them now.  For the future, wash all your shirts in cold water and hang them to dry if they might shrink in the dryer.  Or, if you're particularly tall, you need to shop in specialty sections or stores and make sure you're buying shirts that actually fit your torso.

This just looks silly, see?

Dude, you're showing midriff.

Not to be too cheesy, but when in doubt - throw it out!  And then go shopping.


Happy Friday!

On Friendship

I've been feeling a little frustrated with my own blog lately. I lamented to a friend last week, "I feel like it's been a roller coaster.  I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm happy again! Oh wait, dammit, I'm sad again."

As much as I'd like to find a way to control my own life, to dictate that I will be happy no matter what, the universe has had different plans for me lately.  I'm kinda at the point where I'm just going to try and bob along with the waves until the waters calm enough for me to choose the direction I'd like to swim in again.  Any other approach seems futile.  There are some things I just cannot control.

I don't even really have the energy to recount the latest setback.  Instead, I'm trying to focus on recognizing how lucky I am to be surrounded by amazing, true friends.  Friends that will become irate on your behalf, when you yourself only have the energy to cry.  Friends that will tell you that it's ok if you don't have the strength to pick yourself up yet again, because they will be there to do it for you. Friends who listen and laugh when you contemplate finding a witch doctor to finally remove your curse.  Friends who force you to get out of the apartment, just to meet them for lunch, and don't give you a hard time when you're not hungry enough to eat.  Friends who help you see how to find faith in the life events that have made you want to lose your faith.

You know who you are and I am so very grateful to have each of you in my life.