Ok, Yeah, I Kinda Love Halloween

Halloween is always one of my favorite holidays. I think it brings out the best in me. I love to be scared, to play dress-up, and to gorge myself on candy (duh). This year has been no exception.

I got started a little early this time. Back at the beginning of the month, I took advantage of the Living Social Pumpkin Picking and Haunted Farm Adventure with Mary El. We boarded a bus in Rosslyn, VA, and traveled out to Ridgefield Farm in Harpers Ferry, West Virginia.

We picked pumpkins from the pumpkin patch, ate a picnic dinner, went through their haunted house, and then tried not to break an ankle traipsing through the corn maze with screams and chainsaws buzzing in the background. It was a blast!

I finally got around to carving my pumpkin this weekend and I think it looks pretty damn awesome.

Like my mom always did growing up, I separated the pumpkin seeds from the goop, rinsed them off and heated up the oven for roasting pumpkin seeds. I was out of butter to melt over them with salt, so I mixed them with Worcestershire sauce and garlic salt before tossing them onto a baking sheet and sticking them in the oven. Forty-five minutes at 300 degrees later, my apartment smelled delicious and I had a hot batch of roasted pumpkin seeds.

For my costume this year, I dressed as Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's -- Holly Golightly. Had so much fun pretending I was still in college all night. Started at a small house party and ended the night singing karaoke at a gay bar and helping my friend win the $100 best costume prize. So. Much. Fun.

And once my hangover subsided today, I got around to finishing up my little Halloween craft projects. Had a fake black pumpkin from Target that I drew a spiderweb on with a silver paint pen and then glued on a sequined spider. That was easy -- 10 minutes max.

But then I decided to put my inner Martha Stewart to a real test, breaking out a real white pumpkin and a couple of black paint pens. After washing off the pumpkin, I settled in on the couch with the Criminal Minds Marathon and started drawing.

Here's what I started with.

And here's how it turned out.
Yeah, I'm impressed, too.

And now I'm sitting on my couch, trying to save some of this Halloween candy for the trick-or-treaters tomorrow night, feeling pretty damn pleased with myself. ;) Happy Halloween, everyone!

I Feel Things

I'm going to take a little -- or maybe a long -- break from blogging. But before I do, I have something to say. Some of it is inspired by recent events, and some is just always there, under the surface, urging me to stop biting my tongue whenever someone throws a snide comment or misplaced blame my way.

All my adult life, there has been someone there to call me a bitch or to tell me that I'm too sensitive. I get so tired of both of these characterizations.

Am I strong and opinionated? Yes. Will I stand up to you and tell you when you're out of line? Absolutely. Did it take a long time for me to build up the courage to stick up for myself like that? Of course it did.

I know I'm tough. I really am not afraid to express my emotions. I do think about things for at least some time before I say something and it always comes from my heart.

But will I forgive you when you have hurt me? Will I trust you again and make you cookies for your birthday, even when I know all those things you said about me? Will I be there to hold your hand when you're crying, or take you out shopping when you need a distraction? Every single time, yes.

Will I be the person to email you good luck before a big test or an important day at work? Will I remember a tough day in your history and call that night to make sure you got through it ok? Will I send a card or buy a small gift, just because I was thinking of you or saw something that reminded me of you? Always. These things are second-nature to me, and I'm not trying to pat myself on the back here. It's just who I am -- a nurturer, to a fault.

I am as caring as I am tough. I feel things deeply, so I recognize when others do, too. I will tell you when you've hurt me, but I will listen and understand when you tell me I've hurt you.

Do I have flaws myself? Naturally. Do I spend every day just trying to be a better person than I was the day before? Without question. To me, that is living.

But none of these things make me a bitch. They do not make me too emotional or too sensitive. They simply mean that I have emotions. They do not give you an excuse to tell me that I'm doing something wrong. It's just who I am, and I am tired of people trying to shame me for that.

It's ok that we are different. It doesn't mean that you should call me names or try to make me feel bad because I'm not the same as you. As women especially, we really need to stop using those words and stop chastising one another for simply having emotions. 

I feel things. Get the fuck over it.