You know, this is now Week Four (and I'm not starting until next week, if I don't go insane before then) and I'm starting to notice some trends. I figured I'd put together a little list of what happens to you after prolonged exposure to funemployment:
-- When you do the laundry, you notice that it's mostly yoga pants, stretchy tees and the fuzzy socks. Is that really all I've been wearing lately?
-- You start to think of people watching as necessary to your health to counteract the endless hours of solitary from 9 to 5 on M-F. I prefer the 2 to 3 p.m. window in Crystal City.
-- You start to worry that you might be wearing your couch out at an accelerated rate and force yourself to not sit in your favorite spot for at least three hours a day.
-- You rediscover the importance of a food journal, now that your "office" is approximately ten paces from the refrigerator (a.k.a. den of occasional boredom reprieve, six to eight times daily).
-- You consider writing blog posts about "How to Spend Less than $5 a Day!" and then realize "why the fuck would anyone want to read that?" because, you know, it's boring and no one really wants to celebrate that.
-- You start to label your weeks according to their predominant characteristic. For example, Cheetos Week, Wine Week, Pollen Made Me a Zombie Week ... No, seriously, these are just examples.
-- You start to think, how bad is (insert the name of some really terrible tv show that I'm too embarrassed to even share here), anyway? I mean, that could kill at least 12 hrs if I start from the beginning on Netflix.
-- You promise to remind yourself, once you're swamped at work and dying for a vacation, of those days when you were praying to go back to work as soon as possible.
And now, since I'm determined to make this The Week I Started My Summer Tan, I'm headed out to brave the slightly chilly temperatures. Don't be jealous -- it's not all it's cracked up to be.