When I was writing Tuesday's post, I thought for a minute: if I write about this new guy, will that jinx things? I decided I was so sure about how I felt about him and that he felt the same in return, I wasn't going to worry about it.
This afternoon, I got a text. "Hey, I have some bad news," it started out. I took a deep breath and replied, "What's up?"
"I'm being moved to North Carolina."
The conversation that followed was sad but honest. I laughed it off at first, replying "Haha, of course you are. Every time I meet someone I actually like in this area lately ..." He replied with, "I know. This sucks." And "I feel so bad about this." We talked a little bit more, and I learned how immediate his departure would be. He's military, so it comes with the territory sometimes, but even this took my breath away.
I'm still in shock. He just got back on Sunday afternoon from a two-week trip. He wanted to see me immediately, and I felt the same. We spent Sunday evening drinking beers on my balcony and catching up. He told me how much he had thought about me while he was away. I told him how glad I was to have him back. We kissed for hours and talked about how much fun we were having, while the little lights strung along my balcony twinkled in the summer air.
Sunday was like a fairy tale. Today was like a nightmare. How do things change so quickly?
This is the third time in the past fifteen months or so that someone I've been very close to has been relocated for work. First, The Dude. Then a man I haven't written much about. Now him, The Marine. A couple of months ago, there was another guy I was getting close to who told me he was being relocated. I cut that off before we got too close, but it's still part of a haunting pattern.
However, aside from The Dude leaving, which was obviously so much more traumatic, I haven't cried this much over the others. This guy was really something special. My friends chided me over the last couple weeks, telling me to stop being afraid of liking him, to just open up. The Dude encouraged me after Sunday to make sure I wasn't too distant just because I was scared.
And I don't regret that I did open up. I'm glad The Marine knows how I feel. But I'm just so disappointed. When will the timing be right, for once?
He sent me an email tonight, after turning in his phone and wanting to communicate before he left. Part of it said, "I want you to know how much fun I had and how much I enjoyed the time we spent together."
I am so exhausted from being brokenhearted.