This afternoon, I got a text. "Hey, I have some bad news," it started out. I took a deep breath and replied, "What's up?"
"I'm being moved to North Carolina."
The conversation that followed was sad but honest. I laughed it off at first, replying "Haha, of course you are. Every time I meet someone I actually like in this area lately ..." He replied with, "I know. This sucks." And "I feel so bad about this." We talked a little bit more, and I learned how immediate his departure would be. He's military, so it comes with the territory sometimes, but even this took my breath away.
I'm still in shock. He just got back on Sunday afternoon from a two-week trip. He wanted to see me immediately, and I felt the same. We spent Sunday evening drinking beers on my balcony and catching up. He told me how much he had thought about me while he was away. I told him how glad I was to have him back. We kissed for hours and talked about how much fun we were having, while the little lights strung along my balcony twinkled in the summer air.
Sunday was like a fairy tale. Today was like a nightmare. How do things change so quickly?
This is the third time in the past fifteen months or so that someone I've been very close to has been relocated for work. First, The Dude. Then a man I haven't written much about. Now him, The Marine. A couple of months ago, there was another guy I was getting close to who told me he was being relocated. I cut that off before we got too close, but it's still part of a haunting pattern.
However, aside from The Dude leaving, which was obviously so much more traumatic, I haven't cried this much over the others. This guy was really something special. My friends chided me over the last couple weeks, telling me to stop being afraid of liking him, to just open up. The Dude encouraged me after Sunday to make sure I wasn't too distant just because I was scared.
And I don't regret that I did open up. I'm glad The Marine knows how I feel. But I'm just so disappointed. When will the timing be right, for once?
He sent me an email tonight, after turning in his phone and wanting to communicate before he left. Part of it said, "I want you to know how much fun I had and how much I enjoyed the time we spent together."
I am so exhausted from being brokenhearted.
I'm so sorry. I don't believe in "meant to be" sort of talk, so I'll leave you with this:The right timing is a choice not a happenstance. I hope that makes sense.
ReplyDeleteOh god, I'm so sorry. I can't really think of anything to say that doesn't sound like a cliche, but I really am sorry.
ReplyDeleteMy heart hurts for you. I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteSeems like a constant problem in DC; people are transient. Seems like everybody in DC is singlish because of this. Its too bad..you deserve someone nice. At least you know there are guys out there who do care about you.
ReplyDeleteDo you have something against long distance relationships? I know they're certainly not ideal and take a lot of commitment, but we're talking North Carolina, not Australia. If it was something special, why not try to make it work? I feel like we're missing a giant piece of the story. My husband and I did long distance - no big deal. It got expensive and stressful at times, but there was never any question whatsoever that we weren't committed to at least trying it.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the comment above. North Carolina is a drivable distance. If it's so special why not put a little extra effort into it. No good relationship comes without hard work at some point!
ReplyDeleteThanks for all of your comments, guys. I <3 you all.
ReplyDeleteTo the anonymous commenters: In general, long-distance doesn't work for me. I get into relationships mainly for companionship and that is largely missing - or at the very least challenging - in a long distance relationship.
Would I try it again for the right person? I'm a hopeless romantic, so the answer is likely yes.
But that depends on a lot of factors, not all of which involve me. Things with The Marine were very, very new and not necessarily far enough along to make that an immediate consideration. If we both still miss each other down the line and talk about visiting? Yes, it's something I would consider.
And there are definitely other big considerations at play, not the least of which is his job. That's just not something I'm going to spell out here though. He's also dealing with having to uproot his life in a matter of 24 hours. Also, I don't own a car. :)
All things being equal, I'm a hopeless romantic and a realist. So for now, all I can say is ... we'll see.
Sassy, I'm sorry. The military sucks for relationships. Next time you meet a mil guy just asume you're going to be long-distance in the near or distant future and don't waste your time unless you think he's worth it. If you don't think you can handle 6-12 months apart - dating/marrying military isn't for you anyway so this was the best thing. It's funny how the timing worked out with your post but it's unrelated. I'm sure the NC thing was something he knew was a possibility on the horizon for at least a couple weeks - he just didn't want to say anything unless it worked out. Anyway, don't lose faith - your man is out there somewhere and one day (when you least expect/want it) he'll find you!
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